You are pregnant!
Some of the most terrifying words for me. For some they would be the most joyous words, the breaking of dawn on a stormy day, but for someone like me who wasn't wanting children (for a number of reasons you will read about later) this seemed like a nightmare that suddenly had become reality. I feel at times still, but especially in that first moment, too young to be having a child. I have been told that 26 is a perfect time to have kids. I am young enough that my body will "bounce right back" and old enough to have accomplished most of my educational goals and be on the right track for my career.
Some of the most terrifying words for me. For some they would be the most joyous words, the breaking of dawn on a stormy day, but for someone like me who wasn't wanting children (for a number of reasons you will read about later) this seemed like a nightmare that suddenly had become reality. I feel at times still, but especially in that first moment, too young to be having a child. I have been told that 26 is a perfect time to have kids. I am young enough that my body will "bounce right back" and old enough to have accomplished most of my educational goals and be on the right track for my career.
Yes, well I did not feel that way, I had accomplished my educational goals, but I had found a desire for more, I still have so many dreams and aspirations. I am still not at all where I wanted to be in my career. The job I have is not a stable long term career job by any means and was never a job I intended to be in for more than a year, and I am going on three. I had already been feeling stuck and now I really felt....trapped and like a my opportunities had been stolen from me. Like I had purchased a ticket for the steady gondola ride up the mountain at a theme park, but had been put on an intense roller coaster ride instead and the staff weren't letting me off, no matter how much I screamed and cried.
Thus, I want to give hope by sharing my story, as brutally honest as it may be and hard to read for some, but it is honest and I have gained experience and information that I know can help others. I know others out there who have had, are having, and probably will have similar experiences and feelings as I did. It is a scary place to be in when you are young and the unexpected life changing circumstance happens like pregnancy and turns your world upside down.
My goal is to share the hope and strength I have found through Jesus and resources (I know now) were dumped into my lap by others because of Him. I want to give resources and support to women (especially the young ones) suffering from depression and uncomfortableness of body that she may be experiencing as she embraces her pregnancy and life. I want to give her and others permission to walk towards acceptance and be assured that you as a woman (or anybody really) are capable of making good choices for yourself, sometimes we just need encouragement and support from others. And with that acceptance and assurance one can feel confident about letting others know (with grace) when they have stepped over the boundary of friendly advice to unnecessary opinions and then still confidently make a choice that is best for themselves.
Then finally I want to help those who are “outsiders” interacting with these women, to give advice and insight into how to best support these women and hopefully give understanding and reminders of what is and is not appropriate. For example, reminding individuals what is your role and place, business and not your business, and most definitely express the inappropriateness of arguing with a pregnant woman/couple no matter how right you feel that you and your opinions are.
With all that said, I ask you to please give me and my story a chance and to realize that I am allowing myself to be vulnerable. By doing so I am opening myself up to a lot of possible judgement and harsh comments, and possible questioning of my Christian values but, I hope instead that what will be seen is my desire to bring others hope and shine the light of Jesus.
This blog is supposed to reflect Jesus and His life example and mission. I list numerous times He dined with and cared for the lowly individuals who were rejected by society and I can also recall throughout Bible history imperfect men and women who God showed an enormous amount of continuous grace to and then used to bring about His will.
I do ask that judgements and negative comments, that one may feel is absolutely necessary to be put out there, be messaged to me directly instead of being posted openly. For once posted, you cannot make them unseen and the hurt they may inflict can be damaging to those who are seeking encouragement and help. I ask that we behave and respond as Christ calls us to, in love.
Now, to Him from whom all blessings and grace flow this blog I dedicate as well as my life. May His glory shine upon you and fill you with His unending love, peace, and joy as He continues to do for me.